The secretary comes out from the
corridor and tells me, “The MD is ready to see you. Please come”
Within seconds we’re standing by
the door with a bold tag: Managing Director. The secretary knocks and opens. She
ushers me in, closes the door and vanishes. I am in the big office now. I see the MD
seated on his executive chair, busy with his computer. He makes a gesture for
me to take a seat, still not looking up. Two other company staff are also in
his office, seated on the sofa. Everybody is waiting for Oga to break the
silence. Oga clears his throat and looks up. He isn’t looking very happy.
MD: Mr. Ayekponor Mbamba…we’re
about to have a very long talk. But before that, let me educate you on some
vitals. This company, as you know, is a multinational establishment that has
been in existence long before you started your nursery education. We have core
values that have kept us this far, one of which is staff integrity. We are very
particular about the kind of people we hire. I’ve gone through your CV; it’s
well written and satisfactory for a CV. But we go further than mere CV. They’re
some areas which we’re interested in which the CV cannot elaborate. I had set
up a committee to look into your Facebook affairs and see what they can find
out about you. I personally was part of that committee. That’s where we have a
lot to talk from. Let me start by asking: why do you choose Nickz Mb as your
username?
I forgive him for murdering my
name. I had suspected this Facebook thing would happen sooner or later. I know it’s
part of the modern methods employers use now. I take a deep breath and exhale
slowly.
Me: First of all Sir, I commend
your company for its high standards towards employee integrity. It’s uncommon. Secondly,
I thank you for giving me the opportunity to respond to your findings one on
one. I appreciate. Nickz Mb is my username because it’s shorter and more
convenient for friends to find me. It eases the spelling errors in my name
while friends search for me to add. Also, several people outside Facebook know
me as Nickz. Nevertheless, people who search for me with my formal name will
still find me because I set my account that way. So, I choose Nickz Mb to ease
connect and communication.
MD adjusts his reading glasses
and asks the next question. I barely can tell if he’s satisfied with my
response or not. That puts me a little on edge.
MD: What does Facebook mean to
you?
Me: I see Facebook as an interesting
and interactive social platform, a community of its own with so much variety;
an avenue for entertainment and information.
MD: I have gone through most of
your posts here. It’s majorly humour. Why would I not rate you as an unserious
person?
This is the part that I have to
brace myself for. I knew it would come. You can do this, I tell myself
Me: Sir, I’m afraid to say, but I
don’t see humour and unseriousness being synonymous. Anyone who rates me
unserious from Facebook would be incorrect. If anyone thinks so, I would
quickly point him to look at my consistency, my originality, the content
diversity and the progressively expanding audience. It would only mean that I
show seriousness in being unserious, which means I am a serious and creative
individual.
My posts reflect more than
humour. I look into the society, education experience, relationships, and try
to draw something from them which people can cheerfully relate to and feel
excited about. Besides, some of my posts are moralistic write-ups, encouraging
good morals. Also, the quality of posts I drop helps me draw audience to our
blog, which is a serious business Sir.
The MD looks at me keenly, puts
on his glasses and slowly leans back on his chair. He motions to one of the senior
staff to take over. One of the staff on the sofa begins.
Staff 1: I am Oyedele Bolaji. I head
Personnel Department. Just like the MD told you, this company is particular
about staff integrity and performance capacity. Let me ask you this: do you
think you create a positive impact on people reading your posts?
Me: Yes, I do Sir. My posts are
mainly directed to the young people who form majority of friends on my list. Many
times, I receive private and public commendations for my posts. It makes me
happy to know I can reach out to people and make them laugh or have something
to say, in spite the present challenges these young people are experiencing,
especially the graduates. I try as much as possible to screen out every form of
abusiveness, ethnic intolerance, violence promotion and any other form of
offensive contents.
Staff 1: Have you benefited from
Facebook in any way?
Me: In more ways than I can tell Sir.
Firstly, it has improved my writing and communication skills and my self
confidence. Also, I’ve been able to build friendship with some relevant people
that I wouldn’t have the privilege to walk into their offices or meet in their
high places. I’ve made good friends—young and elderly—who have supported me in
many ways. Also, like I said, Facebook brings audience to our blog, so those
are the benefits.
Staff 1 takes down some notes and
then nods at the other staff seated beside him to take over. The MD is busy
with his computer, looking as nonchalant as a gambler. Staff 2 takes over.
Staff 2: Young man, I’ve heard
what you’ve said but I will ask you two important questions: you studied
mechanical engineering but all your posts have nothing to do with engineering. How
does that reflect that you are passionate about engineering?
Me: I see Facebook as a platform that
brings people of diverse professions together to socialize and promote their involvements.
I don’t see Facebook as a professional platform so I create contents that cut
across professions, touching people individually, not professionally. I am
devoted to engineering and I belong to other platforms where we share
professional knowledge.
Staff 2: If you were employed
here, how do you think your Facebook experience would add to the progress of this
company?
Me: When I am employed here (yes,
when), I’ll channel my commitment to the goals and values of this
establishment. If I could invest such work into social media profile and gain
relative significance, how much more a place that the passion of my profession
looks up to? I am a good team player and with the excellent minds here, we can
achieve higher excellence.
The MD looks up from his screen
and takes over.
MD: Alright gentlemen, that will
be all the questions. Thank you for your time, Mr. Mbambam. Please wait outside
briefly. We’ll call you when we’re ready.
****
Dear Reader,
The above session of
interaction is purely a work of fiction and has no reference to any person or
place in existence. However, if you were the MD and called me inside again,
what would you say as your final decision?
wow amazing
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