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Saturday, 27 May 2017


“I just starred on, as she kissed the groom. The whole church applauded and I did too, albeit unconsciously. As the newly wedded walked down the aisle together, I hoped desperately, that somehow, by some stroke of luck or as a sign that we were indeed meant for each other, that she would look in my direction. That she would look into my eyes and see through it, read the very thoughts running wild in my mind. She never did. My heart sank further, this wasn't a dream, it was happening. I snapped to reality, looked around the now almost deserted church and reluctantly, got up from the pew…”
This was a friend's story. Though mine has never been this bad, but still, I know how he must have felt. I doubt there is anyone who has not, at one point in his/her life, loved someone who hasn't had the same feelings for him/her. Life has never been simple though and loving wrong is just one of those complicated things we get to experience.
The weird part of the whole thing is, we all have that one person who loves us just as much as we desire to be loved (no, not talking of your parents), but whom we don't equally love. It is like a karma of some sort, because you find yourself in the same predicament as those you tend to reject. While you're busy chasing others and caring for those who would probably will never go the distance for you but constantly give you false hope, they are others who genuinely care for you. People who care as much as you do for those who don't. Unfortunately, you'd always find out that you don't care for them as much as they do, just the same way those you care about, feel about you. But here is an advice, "Let go and move on"! It’s a 90% dead end. Even if the eventually do, that ego creeps in. That shame of having to chew their words and so most of them rather keep things as they are.
The issue isn't limited to ‘crushes’ alone. These days, the number of people who are in 'relationships' (emphasis on the quotes) is just alarming. What you currently have is too one-sided to be considered a relationship. He's constantly cheating, she's constantly making excuses for not answering your calls and not returning same...too busy and all of that, like it requires so much effort to dial a number. These set are worse off than the first. They are more like tools, because they somehow misunderstand being used, for being in love. Domestic violence is on the rise and this is not a surprise. Why won’t it, when a girl who is battered regularly, still claims to be in love? It is not love sister, you are obsessed! You're in a prison not a relationship. ''He apologised after he did it.'' Didn't he apologise the last time before this one? And the time before that? He'll apologise till he delivers the fatal blow.
He/she will constantly try to make you feel like you've made the right choice to stick around. Buying gifts, taking you out, writing love notes on social media and making you 'feel' special but trust me, they won't blink if they have another opportunity to hurt you. Only few actually change. Be dispassionate, when making decisions. If they love you enough, they should be willing to let go of some habits (same applies to you).
Love should not feel like an obligation. It should not feel like a task or state government job. It should come from within, it should be passionate. They are those who constantly put themselves in situations where the get easily exploited. People who often beg for ‘Love’. If he/she doesn’t like you, then don’t force it on them. You’ll only leave yourself open to deceit. Don’t beg for attention, if he/she loves you, you’ll will be showered with enough attention.
Love is a verb, not a noun. It should be displayed majorly through actions and not words. Whoever cares for you, will show it and whoever does not, won’t.

END PART OF THE ARTICLE.....Most of us get lost in d process of loving the wrong person. We get bruised again and again till our hearts, if could be seen by the naked eyes would look like a battered, worn out shoe. You see a young girl in her early twenties, outrightly dying because of several heartbreaks. They need who doesn't even want them and don't want who needs them. Hold on a minute, forget who is loving you and who you love but isn't loving you. The first healing step is: LOVING YOURSELF. Love yourself so much that you don't give a hoot if the whole world turns their back on you. Don't go catching a grenade for someone who won't kill a mosquito hovering over your head. Self-love/self-crush goes a long way in your healing process.
BE PATIENT lady and gentleman, be patient. Good things come to those who wait. Jumping head over heels on everyone that says hi or winks at you, will land you into so many heartbreaks than you could ever imagine. Don't be quick to give out your heart just because someone acts nice at first meeting. Darling! People change when they meet new persons. Some people are just naturally 'nice' and you shouldn’t mistake it for love. Be slow to interpret people's actions because a boy or girl calls you 4 times a day doesn't mean they need u as a spouse or companion. They just might have someone else. Don't go being a lady or gentleman in distress and then a victim of circumstances.
Have I told u to pray? Well, that's the master key to finding your Mr and miss right. Do you know God is interested in your emotions? And how u feel? He won't want you to go about being hurt cos u deserve better than that. Tell him what u need and who u need and watch him do his work. That person you are killing yourself over might just be that person you are best without.

BUT!!!!  Yes, there is a big ‘BUT’. First things first in life, there are stages u must attain before getting to other stages. You can't be a teen and let someone cajole you with love and relationship and others. You can't let someone cajole and sweet talk u with pizza and shawarma. Your life goals are worth 100 times that distraction. Stay focused, stay positive, keep loving yourself and keep working to be a better version of yourself. Believe me, light will fall in pleasant places and the right pegs will fit into the right holes all by themselves. It's a matter of time and discipline. THE RIGHT PERSON WILL COME AND HE/SHE WILL LOVE YOU JUST RIGHT.

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