FREESTYLE --by Nickz

(Image source: picgifs.com)

Don’t get high hopes on this. Seriously, I’ve been trying to think up something worthy of your time but inspiration kinda flew. I guess that’s the thing with writing. I tried various triggers like staring at the ceiling in a quiet room, faking a poo in the toilet, driving a Gallardo at 250mph (you need to play this video game!), nothing came forth. While putting some things in order, I discovered a picture I took back in senior secondary school. It didn’t just look so damn ridiculous, it reminded me of something; an experience I would never forget…lol.

Okay, it was in my SS2 and we just got assigned school prefects. I happened to be one of the prefects. The usual creation of awareness had to be there; the intimidation and over-activity (punishment at the gate/during morning assembly, confiscation of wrong uniform and accessories, unnecessary caning during staff meetings, etc), we enjoyed it. I looked not-too-big, quite young and innocent back then (now, gorillas call me big brother) but that didn’t stop my vibe.

As we all know, in every territory, there’s always the opposition team. We had ours; the SS1 students. Mehn…you needed to see some of these boys; so tall, huge, rough, and all. But we had our tactics too. One golden rule; never go into their class alone…unless you ate skunk and scorpion for hobby. They were ready to fall your hands if you didn’t have steel balls so I always confronted them when I went with my colleagues except it was an individual case. It was really cool.

One day, the beats changed. It was during morning assembly. The SS1 students usually liked to sag their trousers and we the prefects were out to rumple their swag. I approached one SS1 boy and told the dude to pull up. He gave me a bored and reluctant look and managed to raise the trouser a little, tiny, micro bit higher. I then noticed he was wearing a brown belt instead of the school recommended black belt so I ordered the dude to free up the belt. He argued that it was black but I stood my ground until he finally surrendered the belt. I was surprised why he became embarrassed when his trousers started to go really down-the actual sagging he wanted. He held the waist line up till assembly was dispersed. To me, it was nothing. I just handed the belt to one of the supervising teachers and went about my regular school activities until the final bell went off by 4pm.

Alright, this is where you’ll have to stop and get a glass of water before you continue reading. The road to my house usually passed through a small park by a traffic circle. I was walking merrily through the park when suddenly, someone emerged and blocked me; the dude I seized his belt. Mehn…this boy’s eyes were so red I feared his heart was redder. His look was ferocious. He looked at me deeply and though I was taller than him, he was obviously older than me, yes I just realized. “Guy, wey my belt?” He asked. I couldn’t find my voice. “Shebi you don see how you do mek I de hold trouser for hand since morning till now. If you no give me my belt now now, I de comot your own!” I looked up to the hills, from whence commeth my help. I looked to the east and west I could only feel a soft breeze singing to my ears, “you’re in shit mehn!” when I found my voice, all I could say was, “guy comot for my face mek I pass!” I shifted left, he shifted too. I shifted right, he still blocked me. There was no backing out. He attempted to grab my waist but I stepped back. I had never been in a fight all my life but the dude looked like he took punches for breakfast. This guy was really bent on getting what he came for but I wasn’t ready to chicken out for a junior by surrendering my belt. Now, it was crystal clear to me I couldn’t match up this guy in a fight so what I did? I started to rant. “Wetin you wan do eh? U no de hear say commot for road? Eh! Wetin be your wahala!” I repeated lines until luckily for me, a male passerby got attracted to the scene. He tried to play mediator by asking what happened. I told him everything, panting and sweating like a fight even happened. The man also listened to him and to cut the long story, he asked me to return his belt the following day. I took a deep breath and went home with multiple horrifying imaginations in my head. I thanked my stars for the man that intervened.

Now the thing about news is that it flies faster than sound waves itself. When I got to school in the morning, some of my colleagues rushed up to me and inquired, “guy, wetin happen yesterday? We hear say one small boy confront you. Come show us the bastard mek we deal with am!” But when I remembered that they won’t go home with me after school, I had to give them a better reply. “Guys mek una no worry about the idiot. I bin mess am up!”