THE MAN AT THE BAR --by Slick

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AND THE TELEVISION HAD A MESSAGE FOR HIM

My final year project defence in the University seemed to be taking forever as I and my colleagues in the department listened to every detail provided by those that had a presentation to make. Finally, it was over and it was definitely time to celebrate. The suit and tie I wore had gradually become part of my skin and so I headed to my room to wear something that provided comfort.

Next, it was time to hit the pub to grab some drinks and chew-chew as we fondly called Isiewu then. I stormed the bar in the company of my boys and upon entry, smiles beamed upon the faces of the staff since they were about to make some big sales. We headed into a quiet spot, just to congratulate each other, engage in small talks while sipping and chewing. It felt like a family away from home. 

I was just beginning to enjoy the ambience of the room when I noticed the guy seated across from me. He had a nasty eating habit such that I was irritated and could not enjoy the meal in front of me. He periodically made horrible chewing sounds, while I could clearly see masticated food in his mouth. What finally killed me was that he was the loudest in the room; always having an opinion about every issue that was raised. 

The food in front of me was getting cold and I did not know how to tell him that his eating habit irritated me without sounding rude. I had heard small talks about his disease but I could not relate until he was sitting right in front of me, giving me a feel of the vibes coming from his mouth.

But as they say in church, the Lord works in mysterious ways, the waiter that served our order had just changed the TV channel just to find something more interesting for us to watch. When he stumbled on a channel where a woman was talking about ETIQUETTE. She particularly seemed to be interested in eating habits. In my mind, I said “Jesus, you feel my pain too”.

“Some people are terrible when eating, especially when in the company of people. They making horrible sounds and do not even know how to eat properly. If you think I am lying, just observe the way people eat whenever you eat out. This has to stop. You have to make a deliberate effort to stop”. These were the words of wisdom that Dr. Josephine Ogah shared on a TV program titled “Daily Living With Udy Factor”.  

Trust a typical Nigerian; instead of promising to make a change, Mr man simply said “Madam, you dey talk your own o. Who get time to do all these things? Change channel abeg”. We all laughed, and he thought that he had said something funny. But I knew that the woman’s words had touched him somehow as I noticed that he became conscious of how he ate days after.

It is very important that we present ourselves in the best manner possible so that we are not the subject of every discussion. Practicing proper etiquette is not limited to eating alone but also to other aspects of our lives as social beings and brands. Let us strive at all times to be worthy of emulation.  Let us learn to chastise ourselves in the most respectable manner when we see or do something in an awkwardly wrong way. Do not wait until the television has a message for you, since some of us might not have televisions or electricity to even watch the television.

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