I LIKE TO FORK ON THE BEACH --by Slick

(Image source: www.depop.com)

It was a Sunday and I must have slept with a lot of food in my stomach thus, waking up very late. I woke up and did my normal morning rituals before heading to church to feel God’s touch like never before. I was in luck because it was one of those days when you felt like the sermon being preached was meant for you. I and my heavenly Father had to have some serious talk.

The preacher had almost ended the sermon when a boy walked into the church. The usher close to him accompanied him to the seat just two rows in front of me, but there was something about him; not his saggy jeans, or his red eyes that looked like he had been staring into a car’s exhaust pipe, or the ear-ring in his left ear. Rather, it was the T-shirt he had on that had a weird inscription. Across the front of his T-shirt was inscribed, “I LIKE TO FORK ON THE BEACH”. Ehn??

I was just beginning to quiz myself on whether the guy knew the meaning of the message his T-shirt was conveying. Hypocrites would say, “God does not look at the outward appearance but the heart.” At least with the advent of social media and the ills of our generation, one could easily tell that the message on his T-shirt would refer to that thing that Mummy and Daddy always do in the dark or under the illumination of a red bulb. “Oga, why you go wear this kind shirt come church?” was the expression on my Vaseline coated face.

Then it got weird...

The preacher had just begun to dole out some prayer points and I saw this guy begin to speak in tongues of fire. I tried to pray but I had just lost the ginger. I imagined what would happen if this guy was supposed to convert someone into the faith wearing that T-shirt. No matter how spirit filled he may seem to appear, no one would take him seriously.

Just imagine yourself reciting John 3:16 to someone and on your shirt you had “I LIKE TO FORK ON THE BEACH”. Who would you be deceiving? It is a common saying that the way you are dressed dictates the way you are addressed. Although this saying is not limited to the clothes you wear, it goes a long way to tell us to put ourselves in check. Our lifestyle might just be the reason why someone out there gets better or worse. You do not want someone’s fate to hang on the negative side of the balance because he or she was trying to emulate what you portray.

It is no surprise why some churches and even other religious institutions frown at certain dress codes. I remember a particular service I attended where a lady that fell under the anointing happened to be wearing a skimpy gown. She was there sprawled on the floor with her slim legs spread apart. Forget oh! Men of God have blood flowing in them and not zobo. For a moment, it was possible for the preacher to be lost in thought of nasty things, all because the lady decided to wear her younger sister’s clothes to church. Well, the ushers ended up covering her with a wrapper so as to preserve her bride price.

Therefore, in my little way I would simply love to admonish us to dress better to places not only restricted to religious activities so as to encourage someone to do better with his or her life. Remember, you can be well clad and still be handsome, beautiful and sexy.