WHEN SHE SAYS "NO" --by Kreed

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The first morning is always the hardest. Wishing you never woke, wishing the night never ended, wishing your life came with a huge eraser. You don't know what to look forward to. The hurt is one feeling I can't describe. It's like your mind just goes numb. You don't feel anything but then you feel like you've lost it all. The one prediction you'll never get, is when it all ends, like when do you finally slip out of this feeling?
           It feels like a merry-go-round. Like you keep cycling round, only to get back to the place you started. It is never all gloom, as there are few moments of happiness that overwhelms your heart but the moment you begin to feel like you're free, that's when you slip back in. Just like a patient with bi-polar disorder. The first day, is always the hardest.
All you want to do is sleep because it is the only remedy that seems to work. Only unfortunate thing is when you wake, it'll still be starring you in the face—the one memory you wish your brain never remembered. She said “no”. “Where do I go from here?” This one question always recurs in your head. 

THERAPY 
There are many remedies but no specific remedy, as it's all relative to the individual—different strokes for different folks. But as I pen this, I'd probably say when it comes to this issue, I have a huge wealth of experience, unfortunately for me but not for you. To be honest, I’ve never gotten a positive response in most of my attempts but that's cool, shit happens. Okay, back to you. I know how you feel, like you're all messed up at the moment. Nothing seems to make sense. At this point, everything happening in your life seems to be negative even when it isn't. But don't fret, by the time you're done reading this, it'll feel like a mountain has been lifted from your heart. No this is not one of those promos where you'll be told to pay a certain sum of money after all the hype, and no it isn't a piece that will turn you to a Casanova or something (like seriously, it is the last thing this article will teach you). I've been there and it's not the best feeling in the world. However, I want you to take solace in one thing; you're alive. You have a beautiful future ahead, don't let this destroy that.

I'll just write certain tips that should help you out of your quagmire (I really hope it does).

1) Forgive: This is the most vital step. As a matter of fact, if you ignore the other steps, don't ignore this one. Holding onto something this hefty, will only weigh you down and no one else. Keep calm, re-access the situation and don't hold any grudge. Regardless of how she said it, just forgive and move on. 

2) Don't listen to blues: I know it is the only kind of song you'll desire to hear at this point but trust me, it isn't the kind of song you should listen to if you really want to get out of this depressive state. Don't download any of James Blunt's tracks, no. Not because he's gay but because you'll shed serious tears man. Try gospel praise...I'm not trying to sound churchy but that is just the kind of songs you should really indulge yourself with at this stage (and hopefully after this stage). You can try rap/hip-hop tracks too (for those who don't want to listen to gospel, the stubborn ones :-P). If you ask me though, I'd insist on gospel praise.

3) Work on yourself: Dude, remember when I said you were rejected not necessarily because you were bad? Well, every morning you wake up, lie to yourself! Look into the mirror and say, "I'm good, I can be better." You don't even need a heartbreak to practice this, it is something you should do every morning. Set goals and meet or exceed your targets. The truth is, few months from now, if she sees you at the same state you were when she turned you down, she'll probably say to herself, "Well, I made a pretty good decision to bounce him." Don't let this happen. If there is ever a time to push yourself in life, if there is ever an avenue that can be used to motivate or inspire a man, it is times like this. Don't waste this. This disappointment should be a blessing. It was a setback but this is the best time for you to make a comeback.

4) Hang Out with Friends: Bro, it's the best way to forget it all temporarily: hanging out with friends. Like somehow, time skips and you'd be so distracted you won't remember a thing. The downside however, is when you're alone again. If you're strong enough, you'll go through the night with no emotional issues but if you're not, errrmmmm...don't live your friends till you're strong enough.

5) Call her or not?: How did she say it? If she was rude, then don't call her like ever, if she wasn't...then don't call her for a week or 2 and when you do, please don't cry. Sound happy, even if you're not. Not that you're trying to show off that you'll be fine without them(which is a truth) but because it kind of disconcerts some girls, when they know that there is someone who is having a downtime because of their actions. It is not easy for them too. They can't possibly accept everyone who asks them out. It was unfortunate you were rejected but that doesn't necessarily mean you're not good enough. Put yourself in their shoes too. Regardless of the situation, just forgive and move on.

6) Smile: Regardless of the situation you find yourself in life, always smile. It has everything to do with positivism.

          In the end, I just want you to feel better about yourself. The whole aim of this piece is just to let you know that it has happened to others before you and they survived and they’re currently doing better than they were before, so don’t feel like it is the end of the world. I know it feels like your world has crashed around you but trust me, it hasn’t. It might seem like the end of the road but just know it is the start of another journey. At the end of the day, a closed door doesn’t mean a locked one, a lost opportunity doesn’t mean an end to opportunities. As a matter of fact, you’re a lot stronger than you were before now, which is a good thing. 

Every disappointment always leads to a blessing. Pick yourself up and dust yourself. I don't know how difficult it is for you, I don't know if you're even contemplating suicide (I have a rope, if you’re that foolish). I don't know how many NOs you've heard so far. It hardly matters, you’re alive and that means there is hope and above all else you still have a purpose to fulfil for GOD. I’m not going to say you'll get a yes soon. I don't know when but I'm confident you're few steps, or even less, away. Trust me you will and you won't regret this journey. I want you to get up from that bed, I want you to turn off that sad song, you've had enough and it's time to continue moving. Just be you and love will find you eventually (i.e if life was a fairy tale or a Disney movie)…Okay, I’m serious.
          Also, when you get out of this dilemma (Yes, you will), you will come across a brother who is facing the same challenge. Don’t forget to share this or if you have better remedies, help him with it.