FREESTYLE --by Nickz

(Image source: picgifs.com)

Don’t get high hopes on this. Seriously, I’ve been trying to think up something worthy of your time but inspiration kinda flew. I guess that’s the thing with writing. I tried various triggers like staring at the ceiling in a quiet room, faking a poo in the toilet, driving a Gallardo at 250mph (you need to play this video game!), nothing came forth. While putting some things in order, I discovered a picture I took back in senior secondary school. It didn’t just look so damn ridiculous, it reminded me of something; an experience I would never forget…lol.

Okay, it was in my SS2 and we just got assigned school prefects. I happened to be one of the prefects. The usual creation of awareness had to be there; the intimidation and over-activity (punishment at the gate/during morning assembly, confiscation of wrong uniform and accessories, unnecessary caning during staff meetings, etc), we enjoyed it. I looked not-too-big, quite young and innocent back then (now, gorillas call me big brother) but that didn’t stop my vibe.

As we all know, in every territory, there’s always the opposition team. We had ours; the SS1 students. Mehn…you needed to see some of these boys; so tall, huge, rough, and all. But we had our tactics too. One golden rule; never go into their class alone…unless you ate skunk and scorpion for hobby. They were ready to fall your hands if you didn’t have steel balls so I always confronted them when I went with my colleagues except it was an individual case. It was really cool.

One day, the beats changed. It was during morning assembly. The SS1 students usually liked to sag their trousers and we the prefects were out to rumple their swag. I approached one SS1 boy and told the dude to pull up. He gave me a bored and reluctant look and managed to raise the trouser a little, tiny, micro bit higher. I then noticed he was wearing a brown belt instead of the school recommended black belt so I ordered the dude to free up the belt. He argued that it was black but I stood my ground until he finally surrendered the belt. I was surprised why he became embarrassed when his trousers started to go really down-the actual sagging he wanted. He held the waist line up till assembly was dispersed. To me, it was nothing. I just handed the belt to one of the supervising teachers and went about my regular school activities until the final bell went off by 4pm.

Alright, this is where you’ll have to stop and get a glass of water before you continue reading. The road to my house usually passed through a small park by a traffic circle. I was walking merrily through the park when suddenly, someone emerged and blocked me; the dude I seized his belt. Mehn…this boy’s eyes were so red I feared his heart was redder. His look was ferocious. He looked at me deeply and though I was taller than him, he was obviously older than me, yes I just realized. “Guy, wey my belt?” He asked. I couldn’t find my voice. “Shebi you don see how you do mek I de hold trouser for hand since morning till now. If you no give me my belt now now, I de comot your own!” I looked up to the hills, from whence commeth my help. I looked to the east and west I could only feel a soft breeze singing to my ears, “you’re in shit mehn!” when I found my voice, all I could say was, “guy comot for my face mek I pass!” I shifted left, he shifted too. I shifted right, he still blocked me. There was no backing out. He attempted to grab my waist but I stepped back. I had never been in a fight all my life but the dude looked like he took punches for breakfast. This guy was really bent on getting what he came for but I wasn’t ready to chicken out for a junior by surrendering my belt. Now, it was crystal clear to me I couldn’t match up this guy in a fight so what I did? I started to rant. “Wetin you wan do eh? U no de hear say commot for road? Eh! Wetin be your wahala!” I repeated lines until luckily for me, a male passerby got attracted to the scene. He tried to play mediator by asking what happened. I told him everything, panting and sweating like a fight even happened. The man also listened to him and to cut the long story, he asked me to return his belt the following day. I took a deep breath and went home with multiple horrifying imaginations in my head. I thanked my stars for the man that intervened.

Now the thing about news is that it flies faster than sound waves itself. When I got to school in the morning, some of my colleagues rushed up to me and inquired, “guy, wetin happen yesterday? We hear say one small boy confront you. Come show us the bastard mek we deal with am!” But when I remembered that they won’t go home with me after school, I had to give them a better reply. “Guys mek una no worry about the idiot. I bin mess am up!”

THE PHOTOGRAPHER 4 --by Rose

(Image source: gettyimages.com) 

Udeme had searched the whole place for a week now without finding the complimentary card and what was worse was that her feelings for him grew stronger by the day. As she browsed online about him, she admired him more. He was a very hard working man in his early thirties. Bode had received many awards for his works, especially the British Eye Award which was one of the most prestigious ones, and he was very good looking. She had to find him, with or without that stupid card, she just couldn't help but call her friends to help her check their places too, maybe she dropped it in Duncan's car or Nadina's bag, she had to put some calls across.

"Babes have you seen that card Bode gave to me?" Udeme inquired of Nadina. "Which card? And who is Bode?" Nadie answered innocently, Udy explained patiently that he was the guy who kissed her at the restaurant. "Nope I haven't come across it." Damn! She threw her phone on the ground, thank god! It was China! She picked it up and dialed Duncan's number. He received the call quite upset. What business did he have with the card, he checked his car and nothing was there. "Na wa o, Ud slow down. Why not forget this dude?" He remarked and she cut the call.

Yes, she was possessed, she was running mad and Bode was her only drug, her only solution, for once in her life, a guy of that caliber had approached her. He was jovial, no trace of pride usually found in most wealthy men. Even at the restaurant, he had no body guards and all that, he didn't even explain that he was the famous Artmaster. That alone won her heart; she had to find Bode, somehow, somewhere.

Nadina had called Bode for the third time that day, it was obvious she wanted him, but he, on his part had to tread carefully because he had already tried wooing her almost-married friend. He invited Nadina to his house so they could go on a date, a beach date actually. She had suggested a place where people would not be much, considering his celebrity status and all that. He thought it wise too. She was a very beautiful girl, had all assets to drive a man mental, so why waste time? He enjoyed making love to beautiful women and Nadina was one of such.

Nadina had prepared herself for this date; she had cancelled the meeting she was to have with her caterer and she switched off her phone before taking off. Today, she felt more beautiful. She wore her best make up, a crop top and shorts, with a straw hat for the sun, she looked magnificent as she gazed at her mirror. Bode Thomas, the man of her dreams, she liked him and had no fear and no conscience as to how her friend felt. Well, her plan had hatched.

It took her thirty minutes to drive to his house, and damn! It was exquisite, a castle, the type she saw on TV. She parked, stepped out and was met by some guards, they searched her and led her in. The parlor had a gallery; the walls were filled with lots of paintings and pictures, pictures of different photographers, celebrities, and models. It was beautifully decorated. She walked closer to a life size picture of Khloe Kardashian, it looked so real. "Do you like that?" A deep voice interrupted her picture watching moment.

"Yes it’s very beautiful," she answered thrilled as she stared into his eyes. "Yes she is, but you are prettier," he flirted. "I met Chloe in Pretoria, South Africa when she came on a visit. She asked for the best shot around and I was contacted." "Wow," Nadia answered dreamily and moved towards a very beautiful painting. It was that of a young girl; green eyes and full lips, she had to take this picture. "Can I take this?" She asked with pleading eyes. He agreed and offered to give her more. This man was something else.

They left for the beach, conversing the whole time about their lives and families. They played and kissed each other before settling under an umbrella. "So are you in a relationship?" Nadina asked. He looked away towards the water waves, wishing it was Udeme that sat beside him. "No," he replied absently. He felt nothing special for Nadina, he didn't care if she was in a relationship, all he wanted was to touch her body, her voluptuous breasts and kiss those lips again. "Come," he told her, and she followed him to a private tent. They were alone now, he kissed her and she returned it passionately, he undressed her quickly as well as himself. "Are you sure?" He asked and she nodded in consent, he kissed her slowly and rode her like the stallion he was.

They dressed quickly and ran back laughing like little children, this was freedom! Nadina thought. He was so romantic. As she ran outside playfully, she fell and he quickly grabbed her and kissed her again. He was so gentle and she began to wonder if Duncan was a mistake.

NPFL SUPPER 4 FIRST LEG RESULT

The first round of the NPFL Super 4 hosted by the Ahmadu Bello Stadium, Kaduna, has come to an end. The first round of the Super 4 tournament ended with last season’s NPFL surprise team, Nasarawa United, at the summit of the log, while Warri Wolves, found themselves at the bottom of the Log. A total of 6 goals have been scored by the teams, with the highest goals haul scored by reigning NPFL champions, Enyimba FC (3 goals). Meanwhile, Warri Wolves has conceded the highest number of goals (3). Below are the results between the team and the tournaments log.

RESULTS:

FIRST ROUND (VENUE: AHMADU BELLO STADIUM, KADUNA)

JAN. 20 (Match Day 1): Warri Wolves vs Akwa United (1-0)

                                           Enyimba Fc vs Nasarawa United (1-1)

JAN. 22 (Match Day 2): Nasarawa United vs Warri Wolves (1-0)

                                           Akwa United vs Enyimba Fc (1-0)

JAN. 24 (Match Day 3): Akwa United vs Nasarawa United (0-0)

                                           Warri Wolves vs Enyimba Fc (0-2)

TEAMS	P	W	L	D	GF	GA	GD	PTS
NASARAWA UNITED	3	1	0	2	2	1	+1	5
AKWA UNITED	3	1	1	1	1	1	0	4
ENYIMBA FC	3	1	1	1	3	2	+1	4
WARRI WOLVES	3	1	2	0	1	3	-2	3

LATEST NPFL TRANSFERS

NAMES	FROM	TO
Ifeanyi Egwim	Dolphins FC	Rangers FC
Bernard Ovoke	Bayelsa United	Dolphins FC
Ike Thankgod	Abia Warriors	Enyimba FC
Onyekachi Akakem	Dolphins FC	Fc Ifeanyi Ubah
Isaac Loute	Kano Pillars	Heartland FC
Kelly Kester Oahimijie	Sharks	Enyimba FC
Chima Akas	Sharks	Enyimba FC
Bright Esieme	Enyimba FC	Rangers FC
Chimezie Amanfor	Enyimba FC	Rangers FC
Bernard Okorowanta	Enyimba FC	Warri Wolves
Markson Ojobo	Enyimba FC	Warri Wolves

SOURCES: www.supportthenpfl.com , mobi.supersport.com, www.enyimbafc.net

THE PHOTOGRAPHER 3 --by Rose

(Image source: gettyimages.com)

The Club was almost filled to its capacity. Seduction was a club mainly for the high class; the least amount one could pay as gate fee was usually about 100,000 naira. It was a hideout for many celebrities and politicians. Bode was giving his order to the bartender for himself and his guys. In no time, the bottles of Ciroc and a bottle of Moet was placed before him. The boys had not hung out for a long time so tonight was their night out and they came with girls except Bode. Before leaving with the drinks, he spotted an actress by his right guarded by a bodyguard and he quickly made eye contact. She had taken pictures with him once.  She smiled in recognition and walked closer. "The Artmaster himself! Ba wo ni?" She settled for Yoruba as they exchanged pleasantries. She quickly fixed an appointment with him for her next shoot.

It took him a couple of minutes before he remembered what was tugging his mind; the girl he met at the restaurant. He had forgotten her name, thanks to the busy life! She hadn't still called him. That was weird, girls liked him and he expected her to call immediately. Well, maybe she wasn't cut out for a man like him. There was just something different about the girl; that peace around her, pure serenity and she was beautiful in a certain way. He was a photographer who had seen half of the world, he had seen beautiful women in their different shades but this one was a rare kind of beauty, it wasn't forced nor faked, and unlike him he actually fantasized her being his wife! Crazy! He thought. He liked women and women loved him. He was a renowned player back then in school. He didn't just like the idea of one woman. As for this one, there was something different in her,  he had to find her.  He was ready for the chase.

"Artmaster!" his friends cheered as he appeared with the drinks. He took a seat at the table with his guys, it had been a while they gathered. "Tony, howfa your wife?" Bode asked and the other two burst out laughing. "You dey fyn trouble abi. At least me I don marry. Wetin una dey wait for?" Tony teased back. Bode shook his head. Tony had been in such a rush to get married to a virgin but he discovered that his wife lied and was far from one. "I love my babies bad and real no fakin," Odion, the other guy added. The rest agreed, though they knew Tolu, his girlfriend was a bona fide hypocrite. "So Artmaster what's with you, any new chick?" Tony asked. "No, that question is wrong," Odion pointed out. "You should have asked, is she black, Asian, Hispanic, busty, short...?" Damn! That was some diss. Bode smiled at his mischievous friends. They were all the same; a bunch of players. "Well, e get one babe I meet o, buh she no wan gree. I for wan marry am." His friends laughed so hard he almost felt embarrassed, though he expected it. Bode was the worst player any girl could have the misfortune of marrying. Back in the days, Bode had obtained the courage to woo a female lecturer and lay her. He understood why they laughed. "Guys calm down, I serious." His friends were far from calming.  "Bode is in love," Odion mocked in a female voice.

Some minutes into their conversation, Bode’s phone rang. "I gotta take this, guys," he excused himself. "Hello ....darling" a seductive feminine voice spoke from the other end. "Hello, I’m speaking with?" Bode replied, trying to place the caller. "Don't you remember me? Uhmmm Nadine, the girl you met at the eatery?" Geez! It was her, he thought. "Oh baby I have been waiting for this call, baby where are you?" "Don't get me wrong, I’m not Udeme, I’m her friend. She asked me to deliver her message. She has a fiancé and they are getting married in two weeks so don't bother looking for her." He swallowed hard, "but she didn't tell me anything about that." Nadine took her time to explain that the guy, Duncan who was also present was in fact Udy's man. Bode expressed his disappointment and got off the line.

Maybe God was punishing him for all the hearts he broke, how could fate be so cruel? He had just tripped for an engaged woman and it was gonna be difficult for him to force her out of his mind. He remembered her large eyeballs, big and light brown, and her smooth and brown skin that shone through the flimsy shirt she wore that day. He was so stupid, he almost kissed her and her man was standing there and she didn't say anything. It all came back to him slowly; he remembered how possessive the man had acted. He had no clue and he made himself vulnerable by expressing his feelings, something he had never told a woman sincerely except to warm her bed, but that day, "I love you" was from his heart. Maybe it was love at first sight or infatuation but for once in his life, he felt hurt and vulnerable. She was getting married in two weeks!

Well, he needed something to distract him. Her friend Nadie was very sexy as hell, as he could recall and he could run things with her but tonight, he was getting wasted and with a pretty celebrity.

"THE ONE" --by Kreed

(Image source: www.martialartsmovies.com)

"Is she 'The One'?" This is the one question that consistently recurs on my message timeline. I can't remember the last time I uploaded a lady's picture without being asked, "Is she 'The One'?" Even when I uploaded my sister's picture (poor innocent child...smh).

Anyway, this message is strictly for the men and some ladies. In as much as I wish that one of my female friends was 'The One', we have to tell ourselves the truth; NONE of them is because there can only be one 'The One'...that is Jet Li. Jet Li is The One, okay?! Jet Li is the Chinese dude that acted The One! I have no female friend who is an actress, neither do I have any female friend who has been to Hollywood. And I'm damn too sure, that none of my female friends was above 13 when that movie was released. 

So you guys should quit asking me if she is 'The One'. As you can see clearly in the picture, it is written on the cover, 'Jet Li The One'. We didn't even have any Nigerian in the movie cast. Leave trash for LAWMA! (Okay I think that line has gone stale by now but I've never used it before, Soooooo...yea!)

THANK GOD IT'S FRIDAY --by Nickz

(Image source: photobucket.com)

Last weekend, Cynthia couldn't visit Joe because her father didn't travel as usual. Her father's  business required him to travel often on weekends to purchase new stock. On the other end, Joe had made all necessary preparations to receive his new girlfriend for that weekend. It would have been her first visit. He had cleaned every item in his one bedroom apartment, washed the bedsheets and pillow covers, arranged his wardrobe and did his laundary. He even bought an air freshener and placed on his table. The TV set and sound system were in order too. She had mentioned something about being a lover of R&B so he had obtained some CD collections. He wanted her to be comfortable. Everything had been set for the grand visit but all he had received was a phone call that her father was still in town due to an unexpected health issue. 

This weekend, she gave him the call he was anticipating. 

"Hey Joe, everything's set this time. He's travelling, I'm certain. Hope you're ready to host me 'cause I don't want to come and starve." Joe felt like he had just hit jackpot. "Thank God it's Friday!" He exclaimed after the call. Cynthia's visit was something he couldn't toy with. He was one of the security personnel at Crunches eatery and wasn't on duty from Friday to Monday. Though he earned very little, he could squeeze out something to take care of a lady for a weekend. 

"No worries, I got you babe. I'll text you directions. See you soon." He looked round the room, everything was in order. He picked up his C5, typed the directions and sent to her via Whatsapp. 

It was about 3pm when he stepped out of the bathroom with his towel on. Almost immediately, a gentle knock fell on the door. Cynthia had arrived. "Please come in, it's unlocked."

The tall and alluring damsel stepped in. Her appearance sent electrifying pulses through his system. She was dressed in a sky blue sleeveless shirt that revealed a good portion of her 'bossomic' assets. Her blue pair of jeans cleaved to her pretty legs, emphasizing every curve on her lower body. She had a simple handbag with her. The handbag looked like a casual bag for regular outings but surprisingly contained items that would see her through the weekend. It stunned him how discreet ladies' accessories could be. One could never tell the way of a lady, he thought with amusement. "Hello beautiful! You look prettier than all the wives of King Solomon. Welcome my dear." He offered her a plastic chair to sit. "Thanks thanks. Finally, I'm here after almost getting lost with your Google Earth directions. And what is that thing pushing out from your towel?" She said casually for the purpose of humour. Joe tried to hide his embarrassment by placing his palms over the mentioned region. He quickly retired to the bathroom and came back dressed in undershorts. Raking through his wardrobe, he selected a casual T-shirt and balanced it up with a pair of denim trousers. Cynthia went to the corner of the room where the fridge was and helped herself with a chill glass of apple juice. There was a pack of sliced bread on the fridge but she didn't use it, maybe saving for later. Joe was happy she was feeling relaxed. "I have enough music video collection in the rack. Knock yourself out if you wish." She nodded and sipped her drink peacefully. Joe had a little challenge. He had no foodstuffs in the house. He was a fan of restaurant food as he was a horrible cook. But he didn't worry much. When Cynthia got settled, they'd go to the market to get few things to put together. There was no reasonable kobo left in his pocket, only some light change that could barely afford recharge card. He was well aware that hosting Cynthia would cost him some money that's why he didn't tamper with the last N5,000 in his account. She had to feed, check out a popular bar on Saturday evening and also have something to pay her way home with. The analysis only made him more concerned of the extent he'd have to manage to meet these needs. "Sweetee make yourself comfortable. I want to use the ATM at the junction. I'll be back before you notice."  "Hmmm...you better hurry else I'll just pick my bag and leave." He picked up his wallet and dashed out. He would use the change in his pocket to pay his fare. When he returned, they would prepare something together. The last thing he would want to do was keep the beauty hungry and waiting. 

The ATMs at Sandres Road were all out of service. The only active one at Alpha Bank had atleast two dozen customers queued up before it. He took a deep breath and picked a space behind an obessed lady. Each moment passing made him more desperate for his turn. He almost cursed people that took eternity at the machine making multiple withdrawals. He just needed to withdraw N5,000. These rich folks won't ever consider others, he thought bitterly. "Madam, you never still finish?" He couldn't help speaking out to a lady who appeared confused on how to operate the machine. Cynthia won't be happy about the delay. It might ruin everything. His panic caused him to sweat. His wrist watch read 3:45pm.

After about forty more minutes, he was finally before the machine. He slotted his card in and entered instructions to withdraw N5,000. A message appeared that he had insufficient funds. He almost went crazy. "What the hell!" He swore. He hadn't touch the money. What had happened? Confusion, laced with spite setted in. Hastily, Joe checked his account balance only to discover he still had four thousand naira and some fractions. "Fucking bank charges!" He cursed again. The machine could only pay in multiples of 1000. He entered N4,000 and waited for the electronic to spit it out. "Oga you dey sleep for dia?" An impatient customer on the line behind him queried. "Bros no be me do am o. Na this yeye machine de dull."

The machine was still processing his transaction. It was obviously longer than usual and his patience was wearing thin. Finally, he heard beepings and another message appeared on the screen: Service Time Out. He tried again and it displayed "Insufficient Funds." Like before, he checked his balance. This time, it was a nightmare; his account was debited of N4,000 but without dispensing. His new balance was N965.00. He turned around to see an imaptient crowd staring at him. Before he could think of anything, his phone started to vibrate; an incoming call from Cynthia. 

**THE END**