THE MASQUE --by Rose

The natural thing that comes with being human is our desire to be accepted by others, to be well spoken off and to be praised. In order to achieve this, we try as much as possible to paint a good image of ourselves to others. The masque is often worn to conceal our true selves, to prevent others from perceiving out reality or our true nature. This is very evident when people are in a relationship heading towards marriage. Once the man declares his intention, both parties suddenly become ‘perfect’, but soon explode after marriage. What we fail to point out is that human beings are not ‘perfect’. The masque I’m writing on today is Domestic Violence by men.

Ladies, how do you spot a man that may be violent later? And what is the possible way out?

First of all, he is usually very nice, in fact overly nice, he is flawless, you can’t pin dirt on him, he is generous; buys you gifts, takes you on dates, treats you like a lady should be treated in all respects, but watch out.

If you’re the type that has a large social ring of friends, he would feel very uncomfortable, you see, he wants you to himself, you are the object of his obsession. Slowly, he begins to point out the flaws in your friends and slowly you begin to ‘see’ it too, he has succeeded in pushing all your friends away, you are now left and dependent on him alone, this is exactly what he wants.

When you stand with a member of the opposite sex or receive compliments from them, watch him closely. Some women like it when their man is jealous, that’s okay but this kind of man takes it too far, he imagines you being romantically involved with these men but he pushes it aside till marriage.

Violent outbursts by any man should make a woman think twice, but when a woman is ‘in love’, she loves to give excuses, maybe it’s work or stress, just a little something or sometimes he slaps you, and you ignore it; this is just the beginning.

He keeps playing perfect till the marriage ceremony is over, and he has you to himself, remember you no longer have any friends, so his next step is to push you away from your family. If he succeeds then you are welcome to hell. He becomes overly possessive and jealous and beats you to submission to make him feel in total control, this usually works when you cannot fight back or have nobody to talk to.

You are now trapped, and broken, subject to physical and emotional abuse, but you have no friends? No family, sometimes no money, so you are stuck with him, the once perfect guy who wore a masque so colorful that it covered his beastly nature.

Sadly, many women had seen all these signs before the marriage but they kept giving excuses, pretending not to see behind the masque, probably because of perceived wealth or fear of criticism, till they lost something vital: their self esteem.

Don’t be fooled by the charming masque of a beast.

(Note: this doesn’t mean good men don’t exist or aren’t charming too. This is where wisdom of Godly counseling and spiritual guidance comes to play.)