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Friday, 15 April 2016


(Image source: www.musedmagonline.com)

This is one topic I have controversy over but let me not flare up on the first line so you can understand me.  Happiness from within; this expression has been made several times when people post on social media. If you go to Facebook, you may see a post by some person saying something like, “Don’t depend on anyone or anything for your happiness. Don’t let what they do to get to you. Discover the happiness from within you. Then no one can ever take your smile.” Then you see multiple likes and comments like, “you’re so right dear. I wish everybody could know this.”  There’s a blog I visited and the writer posted this:

 “When nothing lasts forever, our dependency on materialistic things or people around us also perishes one day. Keeping this fact in mind, we must be the sole responsibility takers of our happiness. We can very well create happiness when we would maintain a distance with the outside world.”

After reading the post, I was left confused and I hate to be put in a confused state of the mind.

When someone says happiness from within, I imagine an ideal figure that does not get offended or unhappy, no matter what happens, or has a button in his heart to press so as to overcome every frustrating event and becoming happy even during a traumatic situation, or does not require any external factor to restore his or her happiness.

Some time ago when I had a date with an old time female class mate, while we got to know ourselves better over a table of drinks, she had told me something that made me confused; she said to me with a smile, “I’m always happy.” I paused for a while and asked her, “how’s that possible?” she confused me further with some philosophical words and idealistic quotes. I had to change topic because that subject made me feel like, dude, it seems you haven’t discovered yourself. How come you can’t be happy from within?  After the date, we spoke often on phone and it was usually fine but few weeks after, I gave her a phone call and she was sounding extremely cold and distant. I asked her what the matter was but got the reply, “nothing”. The next day was the same thing; still got “nothing” for a reply. I knew she was not fine and I really wanted to know why. I was surprised when she later disclosed she was sad because her phone’s screen was faulty! She did not only become unhappy but she had transferred the unhappiness on me! I was now the one playing her part, reminding her of how she told me she’s always happy. Well, I encouraged her to cheer up as it was a temporary situation.

Now, you may be wondering what my problem is with happiness. The truth is; I don’t have any problem with the subject happiness. I’m only unagreeable when people say one can always be happy from within or by separating from the outside world. Some will go ahead to tell you to go to the Holy Scriptures, that that’s the best place to find happiness. This gets me more annoyed! Dude! I read my bible regularly. The same bible makes us to know that  if someone comes to you naked and hungry  and you tell him, go in peace without providing what his real physical needs are, then your faith is vain (James 2:15&16). Well, another problem with our people is “Over-Christianity” but that’s gonna be a subject for another time. Back to the subject at hand; I seriously wonder how these people generate happiness from within at all times and how they stay happy always, as they claim. I would really want a detailed and a non-confusing tutorial on how this works. But before that, let me say my mind.

Though I’m naturally a happy, peaceful, jovial and cheerful fellow, I have my moods. Sometimes, things people do get at me so hard I become saddened. For instance, one of the things I despise is open embarrassment. If you talk to me rudely in a public function and make it so loud that people turn their heads; people that hold me in high esteem watch the scene you’ve created, it could make me really unhappy. Now, assuming I manage to pretend and leave the scene with a fake “all is well” smile, it’s just a cover. The bitterness is there. Though I may forgive the offender, I will still feel unhappy for a while, if I don’t do anything to help my state of mind. Now, look at this scenario, do you expect me to go and open the scriptures to find what it says about happiness at that point? Do you expect me to press one button inside my heart and happiness from within will just take over me? No, I don’t think so.

Though what works for me may not work for others, there are certain things that I can do to stabilize my mood and restore my happiness, based on the scene described above. If I take a walk along a quiet road or sit out somewhere dim and distant from distraction, it might not really help as it will only make the scenes play again in my head. If I start telling myself, “be calm, get over it. You know you’re not all that bullshit he/she said,” I’m not sure it will work. But if I find a good friend or an elderly and understanding person I can sit with and share my feelings, receive some comforting words and advice, I’ll just feel my shine rising again. I’ll end up becoming happier and cheerful. I guess that’s the thing with melancholies. Depending on the situation, its frequency and how unhappy it makes me, I use different approaches; sometimes, a soothing music may do, other times, a change of environment is what’ll work. 
That was from a personal angle. I’m proud to have studied myself and know what works for me. I know there’re others out there who fall under the same category.

I write all these not to disrespect anyone’s opinion or medium of happiness but to air out my views on the subject and share what works for me. I also stand to be educated properly if I have misconceived anything.

Please if you have read this post, don’t be a passive reader, share your comment on this subject too. I’m sure you have an opinion about this post. Take a little time and drop your comment.  You may help someone. Remember, what works for you may work for another person.


  1. ...well this is what works for me; a change of location preferably to a social place like a bar, cinema or i go window shopping or any other outdoor venue whr i can meet a people, start a conversation that'll take the rage off my head, that's for the short term...n a long distant travel destination of choice does magic for cholerics like myself for the long term..cos i believe out of sight is out of mind~~rich montana

    1. Thanks Richie, your contribution is very real. The meeting people part works well for me too. I would have loved to try the window shopping but I think it will be awkward. Thanks for sharing your perspective.


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